This Globe, It's Fucked

Look what I found (and bought)

I've flipped through some of the pages in these books and man, how are we even still alive?

Happy fucking Friday. AC out (for the weekend)

T.G.I.F: When the End of the World is Nigh, Have Some Sex

When I woke up this morning and checked the time, it was 4:44am on December 21, 2012.

Not the best of omens on the day that the world ends. Why? It's because in spoken Mandarin, the number "four" sounds very similar to "die." So not having a 4th floor in a lot of Eastern countries is the counterpart to not having a 13th floor in Western countries.

In continuation with this vein of superstitious bullshit, I would like to report that my numerological horoscope today is 2:

Two is a number that carries with it very little energy, allowing events to run naturally on their own. Today is not a day for new undertakings or changing of direcion. If possible, take some time off to relax and focus on your personal life. Sensitivity and a feeling of self-consciousness affect you strongly today. It is a good day to be in harmony with others. Romance is highly favourable.

And my daily horoscope from three sources all say different and ambiguous things (as usual):

One:

Have you been looking for a few good reasons to worry? Do you wish the bill collectors would show up at your door and give you an ultimatum? Wouldn't it be wonderful if you went outside this morning to find that your car had a flat tire? No, no, and no! You would never seek out any of the above. But you are now embarking on an endeavour with someone who seems to get you in a lot of trouble. Maybe you should rethink that decision.

Two:

There's nothing quite like sharing but not doing, is there? So don't describe how you'd like to be a nightclub crooner or a performance artist or a corporate executive who can hardly find enough companies to raid -- just do it! Get out there and find the place you need to be. Not sure it's the right time? Make it the right time, and enjoy the heck out of this exhilarating process.

Three:

Creative abilities that have been dormant are now awakened. This is a period when you can tap into new creative talents, and become more spontaneous and inventive. The ability to improvise and respond situations spontaneously, rather than needing a great deal of preparation, is heightened.

I have three horoscope apps on my tablet because they are just absolutely fucking hilarious to read and obvious bullshit is obvious.

In any case, the point that I'm trying to make is that this whole kerfuffle is all much ado about nothing.

The thing that bothers me most is that the assumption is the world would end when the clock strikes midnight. However, they never said in which time zone would it occur. I'm guessing that it would be the Central time zone (UTC-6) where the Mayans were geographically located but as far as I know, they're ahead of my time by two hours and it is now 8:16am.

So the basis of your logic is faulty and you can fuck off now while I enjoy my early morning eggnog concoction on a well-deserved day off.

Then I'm going follow the instructions to Bruno Mars' The Lazy Song and do fuck all. Also please enjoy these print ads from Durex (see more at SourceFed).



T.G.I.F: They Got It Fucking (Right)

T.G.I.F: Female Night Elves Are Sexy

This is a "Oh-shit-I-was-too-busy-during-the-week-to-write-so-here's-a-Friday-post-about-my-life-which-may-be-TMI" type of blog post. Consider it as another Whatever-I-Want-Mondays post with a dash of Happy Humpday but on a Friday instead!

This may only be a short run; it all depends on how many different acronyms I can come up with for T.G.I.F. I don't know yet.

So I've started playing World of Warcraft again for the Mists of Pandaria expansion and here is my character:



T.G.I.F: That Girl Is Fine!

You don't need to know much about the game to understand this post other than damn, that girl is fine! Yes, there are some days when I find girls to be more attractive guys and I get really confused about my sexuality. Then I look at some heterosexual porn and everything becomes fine again. (I warned you about the TMI!)

By the way, did you know I have a Facebook page? Click here to like me or just drop by and say hi! :)