Showing posts with label Whatever-I-Want-When-I-Want. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Whatever-I-Want-When-I-Want. Show all posts

Monday, August 26, 2013

Summer Bugs

I've noticed that ants like to hang out in the shade cast by the front gate during the summer time. I like to step on them as I leave to go to work because it serves as a great visual when I have to deal with asshole clients.

But this little guy made me smile when I got home from work one day.


Isn't it cute? There were actually two of them on pillar. I think they were going to mate.

Speaking of mating, check out this pair of mosquitoes fucking on my front door.


I should have killed them, but I didn't because now I can say that a pair of mosquitoes fornicated on my front door and they do it ass to ass. They made me laugh and for that they get a pass.

P.S. Everyone needs to watch this video on slug sex. It's fucking beautiful.


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Vancouver Part 2

This is VanCity, yo. 

We love our trees

We have awesome ice cream

Tiramisu and hedgehog gelato
And awesome fireworks (same session as last week)

Go to DeviantArt to see .gif

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Vancouver Celebration of Light 2013

I went to the Vancouver Celebration of Light on Saturday, July 27, 2013 and holy shit my pictures turned out great!

Skyfall presented by the United Kingdom

Unfortunately Blogger doesn't support .gif so you'll have to go to my DeviantArt to see the Skyfall series. Taken with Samsung Galaxy S3.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What the Hell, America?

How does 2013 Florida have a (Stand Your Ground) law that seems cut and pasted from 1881 Tombstone? Because let’s be clear here: according to current Florida law, you can get a gun, follow an unarmed minor, call the police, have them explicitly tell you to stop following them, then choose to ignore that, keep following the minor, get into a confrontation with them, and if at any point during that process you get scared, you can shoot the minor to death. And the state of Florida would say ‘Well, you did what you could.'
— JOHN OLIVER, The Daily Show




Okay so it's not a good idea to go to America right now anymore. Especially if you're black. Aw, I guess trips to Disney World (in Orlando, Florida) is no longer an option.

And there goes my American viewers . . . Goodbye :(

UPDATE:

Oh, that's why the jury found George Zimmerman innocent.



Sunday, July 7, 2013

MY NIECE

OMG U GUYZ! I HAVE SEEN THE CUTEST KID IN THE WORLD AND IT'S MY NIECE!

SHE WAS BORN ON JUNE 28 WEIGHING 9LBS 2OZ WITH A HEAD FULL OF HAIR.

I MEAN FUCKING LOOK AT THAT HAIR!!!


SHE'S 1 WEEK OLD IN THAT PICTURE. SHE'S SO NEW THAT HER SKIN IS STILL PEELING AND HER HEAD IS SHAPED LIKE AN ALIEN, BUT A VERY CUTE ALIEN.

YA FEEL ME?

Also, happy belated birthday and Freedom Day to my bestie! ('Murica!) And happy birthday to my sister from another mother and father who is currently living down under!

Monday, July 1, 2013

O Canada (A Haiku)

Happy Canada Day!


It's hotter than all balls.


I've had five hours of sleep -_-"zzzz

Thursday, June 27, 2013

My Nephew

My 9-month old nephew teethed on this squishy foam ball:

We had to take away his chew toy.

Sometimes he forgets how to be a baby and thinks he's a dog instead.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Vancouver

Just some pictures I have lying around.

Cambie and 10th Ave W - Heading north into downtown (May 2013)

Canucks bus wrap from Fall 2012

Outside the Sutton Place Hotel (March 2013)

Art at YVR in one of the outbound international terminals (Jan 2013)

Close up of art - School of fish

Monday, June 17, 2013

Night Market 2013

Hello! Yes, I'm still alive and this is my "holy shit I haven't blogged for three weeks so here's a whole week of entries to make up for it" post.

I went to the night market on June 1 and there was a stall selling supplies that would help you survive an apocalypse. I thought, "How in the hell would these things help me survive an apocalypse when I would already be dead? It's an apocalypse after all."

Look closer and you'll see...

Q: Dog spray and bear spray only? Where's the alien spray? A: Sneeze on them.

It's for a zombie apocalypse.

This year they named the night market "Magical Duck Island" after a famous night market theme in Hong Kong that I've never heard of. So how is that famous? I don't know.


P.S. -- I saw Star Trek Into Darkness and it was glorious. Don't watch it in 3D though because IMAX doesn't add anything to the film.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Wow, Really?


I haven't done grocery shopping since my parents came back from Taiwan, but I'm pretty sure 1.395kg of top sirloin steak don't normally sell at $12.30 CDN. The expiry date is still good too.

I feel like I just robbed Safeway, Jesus fucking Christ.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I'ma Gonna Be Edjumacated

I got accepted into UBC for Computer Science.


I will complete this in 2 years instead of 4 because it will be my second Bachelor's degree. My first degree was in Commerce, specializing in Human Resource Management, also from UBC. 

Not bad for my 94th blog post, eh? (I may be good at math, but I never said I know how to count!)

Big thank you to my mother who will be paying for the $11,000 tuition and the $1200 laptop I ordered. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Birthday Food Coma

My birthday started on April 19th with dinner at my favourite Italian restaurant.


Spinach ravioli at Zefferelli's

Then brunch on the 20th at IHOP (no pictures, sorry).

Mom made my favourite food on the 22nd.

Sauteed pork, tofu, and onions in tianmianjiang with grated cucumber and carrot

I had a free brunch at Denny's on my actual birthday (April 23)

Birthday Slam from Denny's

And a free burger

Baja burger from Vera's burger. The meat was so raw it might as well have been mooing.

For my birthday dinner, I made myself some pasta.

Homemade pasta <3
Also not pictured are 2 free drinks from Blenz (first time trying Royal Tea Latte and Belgian Dark Hot Chocolate; they're like orgasms in a cup) and the usual free birthday drink from Starbucks.

Can we just wind the clock back to a week ago so that I can experience all of that again? Much appreciated, thanks.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

AC E-xpression's Unexpected Non-Vacation

I've worked six days in a row from April 5-10, did chores all day April 11, and now I've just finished working day five out of another six days in a row from April 12-17. I volunteer on April 18 and then work again on April 19.

What the fuck is my life?

Why the hell is it so busy?

Existentialist questions to which I have no answers other than "shit happens." And holy fuck we're already halfway through April and I turn 26 in a week. (Daayum!)

So no, I was not on vacation but here are some interesting things that happened:

I got a new phone which doesn't weigh a brick like my old HTC Sensation and I've already dropped it like ten times. (P.S. -- I did not choose the pink case; the pink case chose me like a Harry Potter wand. This reminds me of the BBC TV series Sherlock which I am now obsessed with. Thank you cell phone provider.)

Samsung Galaxy S3. Also, who the hell is April Wong and why the hell did my calendar note her birthday?

My parents were in Taiwan for three weeks and I was home alone. They're back now and I miss the quiet (and the freedom to masturbate with the door open. Oops, T.M.I. sorry)

I met John Barrowman on Friday, April 12 at the Starbucks near my work place. He's the actor who played Captain Jack Harkness on Doctor Who and is in Vancouver filming Arrow. Meeting him was truly a nerd-tastic happenstance but it was also really fucking disappointing because it means that he's not in the 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who. He confirmed it too. (Grr!)

He was super friendly and had a nice, firm handshake. Furthermore, the man has impressive pectoral girth and is hotter than all hell in real life. He signed my coffee sleeve (it's the first Starbucks anything he's ever had to sign so score one for me!) because I didn't have any paper on me. I didn't get a picture with him because I didn't have my phone on me, which of all the fucking days it had to be the day that I met John Barrowman.


The fangirl squealing that comes out of my mouth is seriously not human when ever I look at this.

Let this be a lesson to you all: Fucking carry your phone with you everywhere you go and start paying for your coffee with the Starbucks app rather than the Starbucks card, because you never know when you'll bump into a celebrity on your break.

And John Barrowman, if you're reading this, thank you for making my day month infinitely better. You totally brightened up that shitty, raining Friday afternoon in Vancouver. I swear it's like you had sunshine coming out of your ass. That, or your neon orange rain jacket was radioactive.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Picture Trivia

Picture trivia: In what city did I take this picture?
 
A) Vancouver
B) Las Vegas
C) New York
D) Taipei

 

Come on, this is an easy one!

Answer: Grand Central Station, New York City, New York

Monday, March 11, 2013

Spring Cleaning 2013 Conclusion

All finished! 
 
Less of a nightmare

For now at least. Doesn't look like much has changed, has it?

Damn, I am too much of a pack rat.

Monday, February 4, 2013

10 Things You Should Be Prepared For When Visiting Taiwan

Images are not mine
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WARNING: Wall of text imminent

10) The 13 hour flight from Vancouver with the first 3 hours or so filled with crying babies in the front, back and sides. (Freaking 13 hours!) At least it was a direct flight. Tip: say yes to the headphones; they should be free if you fly China Airlines.

Somebody create this game already.

9) Usually in more official public places, the toilets are the regular kind where you can sit down and go #1 or #2. However, the general stores and older buildings have the traditional slipper-shaped toilets where, if you are female, you have to crouch down to in an undignified position to pee. It's really just one step above a glorified hole in the ground due to its minimal plumbing.

8) Following the previous point, always carry a package of tissues because there are usually no toilet paper in those hole-in-the-ground stalls, nor sometimes in normal toilet stalls. Walking around town in damp underwear due to the fact that you didn't wipe feels damned uncomfortable. Trust me on that.

7) You will buy a lot of shit, so arrive with bare minimal luggage, or even empty suitcases if you can swing it. And because you will buy a lot of shit, memorize the exchange rate between your country's currency and that of the NT. ($1 CAD = $30 NT) Also know what's the maximum allowance of goods that you can bring back to your country. ($800 if it's 7 days or more for Canada).

6) Prepare to be gawked at when you walk down the street in t-shirt and sunglasses on a warm and sunny day during a Taiwanese winter. Excuse me if your high of 25C is the same temperature as a Vancouver summer. Note: Remember to layer your clothing and wear at least 30 SPF sunscreen on your face and body with PA++ if at all possible.

5) Cars have the right of way, not pedestrians so when the pedestrian light starts to flash the animation of a running man, do fucking run. For your life. Really, drivers have no compunctions about backing up over you to make sure that you're dead if they've already run over you. This is just so that you don't blab or worse, sue them. True story.

4) After a long hiatus, the NHL decides that hockey is back on again while you're on the other side of the globe with a spotty internet connection so that you can't catch any of the games. Seriously, not even the highlights. The fuckers.

For realz

3) For a city that's got over 4 times the population of Vancouver, the streets of Taipei are ridiculously clean and absent of litter. However, the streets either smell like sewage or motor oil at all times. The locals wear a face mask for a reason so "when in Rome."

2) You'll be sleep deprived as all hell because you stayed up well beyond your bedtime the night before your flight trying to fit all the crap you bought within the weight and luggage restrictions. It is truly a the most vicious and cruel game of Tetris that you'll ever play. Then when you're finally home and it's 4am, you still won't be able to sleep because you slept for a couple of hours on the plane so you'll be jet lagged and tired as fuck. Note to self: say no to taking any shifts for at least the next three days after you're back if you don't want to be a brainless zombie at work.

1) When it comes to food, Taiwan is a country that is really not at all Jew-friendly. Nor is it friendly for any other religion that has dietary meat restrictions. If you want to survive your stay in Taiwan, then don't ask what's in the dish, just close your eyes and put it in your mouth. It's a lot like a particular activity that I'm only going to hint at: You may enjoy it more than you thought you would.


TL; DR

You shall suffer a very horrible experience in Taiwan if you don't scroll back up and read it from the beginning.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Practice Makes Perfect

While making an origami fireworks over the weekend...


...I had a abject moment of terror where I thought I had forgotten how to make origami Yodas. So I made six in quick succession:

The Confederation of Yoda

I remember now. Whew! That was close.

I am on vacation in Motherland Taiwan from January 16-30. While I'm away there will be no posts :(

But I'm happy to announce that Shit Chinese People Eat will be coming back with a vengeance, like that Die Hard movie. May they never stop making those movies. Next post will be on February 4th. See you all in three weeks!

Monday, November 12, 2012

I Need A New Camera

Look what happened!
 

I fucking broke it! Well, it still works but who knows for how long?


It originally had two tiny screws that held the side in place but instead the first screw is somewhere in New York City and the second screw is somewhere in Vancouver. Fack.

Any suggestions for a new camera? Preferably DSLR, under $400 and for a beginner.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Turn of the Season

The turn of the season looks something like this: 

 
 
Love it!
 
Also, neighbour's grass
 
 
Our grass

 
 
Go Dad!