Practice Makes Perfect

While making an origami fireworks over the weekend...

...I had a abject moment of terror where I thought I had forgotten how to make origami Yodas. So I made six in quick succession:

The Confederation of Yoda

I remember now. Whew! That was close.

I am on vacation in Motherland Taiwan from January 16-30. While I'm away there will be no posts :(

But I'm happy to announce that Shit Chinese People Eat will be coming back with a vengeance, like that Die Hard movie. May they never stop making those movies. Next post will be on February 4th. See you all in three weeks!

Money Origami Car

I spent two days making a money origami car.  Mine looks like this:

But it's supposed to look like this:

Mine didn't turn out too bad for a first try, considering as how this was part of the instructions:

Won Park didn't call his book Extreme Origami for nothing.

Taiwan 2013: The Ten Day Mark

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!

Was I not just bemoaning the fact that my vacation couldn't come any sooner? (Oh wait, that's Star Trek Into Darkness)

The only thing I've done in preparation for this trip is get a new camera.

Isn't it pretty?

Too much to do and not enough time to do it in. *runs around like a headless chicken*

FACK!

Happy New Year 2013

Happy New Year and all that jazz.

I had dumplings for breakfast.

This should probably be a post of Shit Chinese People Eat because not a lot of people can stomach svoury dumplings for breakfast. Neither can I most of the time, so thankfully New Years only comes twice a year. (January 1st New Year and Chinese New Year. I know how to count, damn it!)

Anyway, dumplings for breakfast is part of Chinese tradition. It's derived from the term "yuan bao" which is roughly translated into "coin full." So having dumplings first thing in the morning on New Years implies that one would gain wealth and riches for the year. Sometimes people put a coin in there for extra luck. (Fucking unsanitary, I swear.)

I could be wrong about the whole thing since I wasn't entirely awake and coherent when I asked my mom about it this morning. I was also quite distracted by the steam rising from the rooftop of the garage.



Melting frost



Happy Holidays

I did not expect to be so freaking busy during the holidays but I was.

 

My family doesn't celebrate Christmas in terms of exchanging gifts and putting up decorations and all the jazz, but I made dinner.

 

2.83kg of top sirloin roast beef. We are on day 4 of leftovers.

 

Roast beef came out juicy and tender; cooked fucking perfectly. (I love you master chef oven!)

 

The vegetables were a bit soggy but the potatoes were soft.

A belated Happy Holidays to you all. 



T.G.I.F: When the End of the World is Nigh, Have Some Sex

When I woke up this morning and checked the time, it was 4:44am on December 21, 2012.

Not the best of omens on the day that the world ends. Why? It's because in spoken Mandarin, the number "four" sounds very similar to "die." So not having a 4th floor in a lot of Eastern countries is the counterpart to not having a 13th floor in Western countries.

In continuation with this vein of superstitious bullshit, I would like to report that my numerological horoscope today is 2:

Two is a number that carries with it very little energy, allowing events to run naturally on their own. Today is not a day for new undertakings or changing of direcion. If possible, take some time off to relax and focus on your personal life. Sensitivity and a feeling of self-consciousness affect you strongly today. It is a good day to be in harmony with others. Romance is highly favourable.

And my daily horoscope from three sources all say different and ambiguous things (as usual):

One:

Have you been looking for a few good reasons to worry? Do you wish the bill collectors would show up at your door and give you an ultimatum? Wouldn't it be wonderful if you went outside this morning to find that your car had a flat tire? No, no, and no! You would never seek out any of the above. But you are now embarking on an endeavour with someone who seems to get you in a lot of trouble. Maybe you should rethink that decision.

Two:

There's nothing quite like sharing but not doing, is there? So don't describe how you'd like to be a nightclub crooner or a performance artist or a corporate executive who can hardly find enough companies to raid -- just do it! Get out there and find the place you need to be. Not sure it's the right time? Make it the right time, and enjoy the heck out of this exhilarating process.

Three:

Creative abilities that have been dormant are now awakened. This is a period when you can tap into new creative talents, and become more spontaneous and inventive. The ability to improvise and respond situations spontaneously, rather than needing a great deal of preparation, is heightened.

I have three horoscope apps on my tablet because they are just absolutely fucking hilarious to read and obvious bullshit is obvious.

In any case, the point that I'm trying to make is that this whole kerfuffle is all much ado about nothing.

The thing that bothers me most is that the assumption is the world would end when the clock strikes midnight. However, they never said in which time zone would it occur. I'm guessing that it would be the Central time zone (UTC-6) where the Mayans were geographically located but as far as I know, they're ahead of my time by two hours and it is now 8:16am.

So the basis of your logic is faulty and you can fuck off now while I enjoy my early morning eggnog concoction on a well-deserved day off.

Then I'm going follow the instructions to Bruno Mars' The Lazy Song and do fuck all. Also please enjoy these print ads from Durex (see more at SourceFed).



T.G.I.F: They Got It Fucking (Right)

The First Gift of the Season, In Pictures

 

Thank you, Mommy!