Happy Holidays

I did not expect to be so freaking busy during the holidays but I was.

 

My family doesn't celebrate Christmas in terms of exchanging gifts and putting up decorations and all the jazz, but I made dinner.

 

2.83kg of top sirloin roast beef. We are on day 4 of leftovers.

 

Roast beef came out juicy and tender; cooked fucking perfectly. (I love you master chef oven!)

 

The vegetables were a bit soggy but the potatoes were soft.

A belated Happy Holidays to you all. 



T.G.I.F: When the End of the World is Nigh, Have Some Sex

When I woke up this morning and checked the time, it was 4:44am on December 21, 2012.

Not the best of omens on the day that the world ends. Why? It's because in spoken Mandarin, the number "four" sounds very similar to "die." So not having a 4th floor in a lot of Eastern countries is the counterpart to not having a 13th floor in Western countries.

In continuation with this vein of superstitious bullshit, I would like to report that my numerological horoscope today is 2:

Two is a number that carries with it very little energy, allowing events to run naturally on their own. Today is not a day for new undertakings or changing of direcion. If possible, take some time off to relax and focus on your personal life. Sensitivity and a feeling of self-consciousness affect you strongly today. It is a good day to be in harmony with others. Romance is highly favourable.

And my daily horoscope from three sources all say different and ambiguous things (as usual):

One:

Have you been looking for a few good reasons to worry? Do you wish the bill collectors would show up at your door and give you an ultimatum? Wouldn't it be wonderful if you went outside this morning to find that your car had a flat tire? No, no, and no! You would never seek out any of the above. But you are now embarking on an endeavour with someone who seems to get you in a lot of trouble. Maybe you should rethink that decision.

Two:

There's nothing quite like sharing but not doing, is there? So don't describe how you'd like to be a nightclub crooner or a performance artist or a corporate executive who can hardly find enough companies to raid -- just do it! Get out there and find the place you need to be. Not sure it's the right time? Make it the right time, and enjoy the heck out of this exhilarating process.

Three:

Creative abilities that have been dormant are now awakened. This is a period when you can tap into new creative talents, and become more spontaneous and inventive. The ability to improvise and respond situations spontaneously, rather than needing a great deal of preparation, is heightened.

I have three horoscope apps on my tablet because they are just absolutely fucking hilarious to read and obvious bullshit is obvious.

In any case, the point that I'm trying to make is that this whole kerfuffle is all much ado about nothing.

The thing that bothers me most is that the assumption is the world would end when the clock strikes midnight. However, they never said in which time zone would it occur. I'm guessing that it would be the Central time zone (UTC-6) where the Mayans were geographically located but as far as I know, they're ahead of my time by two hours and it is now 8:16am.

So the basis of your logic is faulty and you can fuck off now while I enjoy my early morning eggnog concoction on a well-deserved day off.

Then I'm going follow the instructions to Bruno Mars' The Lazy Song and do fuck all. Also please enjoy these print ads from Durex (see more at SourceFed).



T.G.I.F: They Got It Fucking (Right)

The First Gift of the Season, In Pictures

 

Thank you, Mommy!

12/12/12

I have nothing to say. I just wanted to mark the time for shits and giggles.

Nail Polish Obsession

I went out and bought five new nail polish colours because I got bored with Into the Night (see Mad for Manicures). A healthy start to a new obsession. Hopefully this will blow over as a brief personal fad and not turn into a money-draining habit.

Chest-nuts about you, Sephora by OPI



Isn't it pretty? It reflects a silver, copper or rose-pink tone depending on the type of lighting.

In nerdier news, the trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness came out yesterday and I was right there alongside with all the other nerds, analyzing and going over each frame with a fine-tooth comb. Well, more like they were trying to figure out the identity of the villain while I ogled the male cast. So far, I haven't seen any bare chests like in the last one (boo). All I'm saying is that somebody had better be shirtless by the end of the movie.

Taiwan 2013: The Countdown Begins

Travel dates are confirmed. Airfare is booked. Excited I am!



There's lots to do and see both before and during the trip, and not enough time to do it in. Holy frack, I gotta get organized. Let the list-making begin!

Shit Chinese People Eat: Spiked Eggnog Green Tea Misto with Espresso

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yup. It's a long-ass name for this drink:



Spiked Eggnog Green Tea Misto with Espresso



I woke up this morning wanting tea, coffee, and eggnog so I just mixed them all together.

How to make your own Spiked Eggnog Green Tea Misto with Espresso:

1. Brew a small amount of green tea in a microwavable cup.
2. Steam or heat up some eggnog. Add milk to thin out the taste of eggnog to your liking. Be sure to get it foamy if you can and add to tea.
3. Pull a solo or doppio shot of espresso and add into cup.
4. Add a dash (or two or even five of alcohol. I recommend rum or whiskey (see below for picture)
5. Microwave concoction for 15-20 seconds for extra heat.
6. Sprinkle in some other spices as desired (I like cinnamon).
7. Enjoy!



Century Reserve whisky: only the good stuff, baby!

Mine turned out to be a bit too bitter for my liking which isn't surprising since I used Starbucks' Anniversary blend (extra bold) to pull a doppio espresso and quality Japanese tea bags for my green tea. I need to tweak the proportions but damn, it's the perfect drink for the winter season. Makes me feel awake, and relaxed, and happy all at the same time :)

To be honest, this drink is really just another version of a hot toddy at er . . . noon.

Psh, it's never too early to start drinking because it's always 5 o'clock somewhere in the world and that's good enough for me!

Mad for Manicures

In continuation from my last post (My Mom's Version of Retail Therapy Owns You All), I went back and exchanged a couple of items and also added a manicure set to the list.

 

The apricot cream is divine! And don't you love this colour?

 

Into the Night by OPI is part of their The Amazing Spider-Man series. Bought it in New York

My Mom's Version of Retail Therapy Owns You All

So you know how I had a day off last Saturday and I spent it doing some retail therapy? Well this Satuday was spent doing much of the same thing, except bigger and at no cost to myself =D

My mere $197.67 pales in comparison to the whopping $1602.32 bill that my Mom dropped on just make-up and skin care. Take a look:

Dior Addict

Yes, it's all Christian Dior. The best part is unboxing all of it.

Now scream and orgasm!

Of course, I only unboxed what was mine and it was a lot of stuff.

See below for a detailed description

Oh eM Gee! I l<3ve you, Mommy!

From left to right and top to bottom: Travel size 4-piece brush set, foundation brush, mascara primer, waterproof mascara (makes eyelashes curl), extending mascara (makes eyelashes longer and thicker), sunscreen, lip glow (changes colour according to your body temperature!), lip maximizer (lip gloss and chapstick all in one), eyebrow pencil, Capture Totale: One Essential (super serum/moisturizer for the face), Diorskin Airflash (spray foundation that comes out as powder), shimmer brick (for a glowing effect and helps with contouring), blush that comes with a kabuki brush, 5-colour eyeshadow palette, Dior gift bag when you make a purchase of $100 or more which comes with a sample sizes of J'adore perfume, mini lipstick, Pure Poison perfume, something else from the Capture Totale line, and night time eye cream. Not pictured is the limited edition Dior bag that comes with a bag hook and a charm bracelet. Whew! Got all of that?  Good.

I Need A New Camera

Look what happened!

 

I fucking broke it! Well, it still works but who knows for how long?

It originally had two tiny screws that held the side in place but instead the first screw is somewhere in New York City and the second screw is somewhere in Vancouver. Fack.

Any suggestions for a new camera? Preferably DSLR, under $400 and for a beginner.

ACExpression's Day Off

Today consisted of some much needed and well-deserved self-pampering. It began with brunch with friends at Moxie's (they have terrible customer service in the mornings all the time. I don't know why I still go there.) Then did some retail therapy which yielded



Two Canucks t-shirts that were buy one, get one 50% off and both without any player names on the back. Even though it's not hockey season, it never hurts to be prepared. Especially when the player on your first t-shirt was traded to the Leafs.
Total = $41.99, teddy bears not included.

AND

A coat from ZARA to join all the other coats I already own.
Sometimes women just have to buy things that aren't entirely neccessary but look pretty.
Total = $155.68

Later I did a DIY facial with exfoliant, deep-cleansing clay mask, and sheet-style hydrating mask. My face feels as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Now I'm all prepared to take on another six days in a row of work after already working six days in a row . . . NOT!

The Turn of the Season

The turn of the season looks something like this: 

 

 

Love it!

 

Also, neighbour's grass

 

 

Our grass



 

 

Go Dad!







Shit Chinese People Eat: Old Cake

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I bought a slice of cake from a Chinese bakery, ate half of it, and put the rest in the fridge.

Two weeks later, I spot the cake all the way in the back of my fridge and I thought, "Oh, cake! I'll have that for breakfast." :D :D :D

When I set it down on the table, there was a waterlogged smell emanating from the box. I thought it was because of the fridge but when I opened the lid, the smell got stronger.

I shrugged, "Whatever," and dug in.

Then I promptly spat it back out.

My cake tasted like cheese. The whipped cream and the icing had fucking fermented! I swear the cake looked fine:





But it didn't taste like cake and I was bitterly disappointed. >:(  >:(  >:(

I had potato chips for breakfast that day. I think it was on a Sunday too. Oh God, why? Why you no give me good breakfast?!

Anyway, the moral of the story is: Don't eat two-week-old cake, especially if it was made with fresh cream or else it turns into cheese.

Happy Halloween 2012

There's nothing more morbid than staying in to watch a documentary on a child wanna-be killer on stormy Halloween night.

With the lights off too.

I'm also going to watch a couple of Doctor Who episodes: "Silence in the Library" (S4E8) and "Forest of the Dead" (S4E9). In my opinion, they're the scariest episodes in the series so far.

Happy Halloween and for fuck's sake stop the fireworks before 2am, okay?

Food Coma

You know what's not a good idea? Having two high carb, low fibre, food-coma inducing, Italian meals within three days.

 

Veal & Spinach Tortellini at Pacifico

Sure is yummy, though.

I've Got Big Balls

All four of them.

 

Spaghetti e Polpette at Zefferelli's

Veal & ricotta meatballs braised with tomato & red wine. So good!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

This is another edition of Whatever-I-Want-Mondays on a Tuesday brought to you by Acexpression who went on an origami-making craze. Below is a magic ball made out of regular printer paper. Click here for instructions on how to make it and what the final product should look like.

 

A rainbow rainbow :)

 

Peacocks only wish they had plumage like that

I left it in its lattice shape because taping the ends together is a bitch.

Learn A (Dirty) New Language

These books were the best things I bought from my trip to New York and I actually bought them in Seattle of all places while on my way back home to Vancouver. Go figure.

 

The most hilarious moment was when one of my friends tried to say "I would like to eat your tofu" in Mandarin. At first I didn't understand what she was saying; however, when I figured it out, my jaw dropped because I thought that was the standard phrase that one would use when making a proposition to perform oral sex upon another person.

It was rather disappointing to learn that it's a common expression for "I would like to sexually harass you a bit." Boo-hiss.

Oh, well. I'll still always consider "wǒ xiăng chī nĭ de dòufu" to be performing oral sex rather than to sexually harass.

Life Wrecker

Yes, I know it's Tuesday and I have no excuse. So allow me to make this public service announcement: Please do not download this game or it will ruin your life as it has ruined mine.

 

I've deleted all traces of Cosmic Colony from my tablet but then found out that it's very easy to get it back :(

T.G.I.F: Female Night Elves Are Sexy

This is a "Oh-shit-I-was-too-busy-during-the-week-to-write-so-here's-a-Friday-post-about-my-life-which-may-be-TMI" type of blog post. Consider it as another Whatever-I-Want-Mondays post with a dash of Happy Humpday but on a Friday instead!

This may only be a short run; it all depends on how many different acronyms I can come up with for T.G.I.F. I don't know yet.

So I've started playing World of Warcraft again for the Mists of Pandaria expansion and here is my character:



T.G.I.F: That Girl Is Fine!

You don't need to know much about the game to understand this post other than damn, that girl is fine! Yes, there are some days when I find girls to be more attractive guys and I get really confused about my sexuality. Then I look at some heterosexual porn and everything becomes fine again. (I warned you about the TMI!)

By the way, did you know I have a Facebook page? Click here to like me or just drop by and say hi! :)

Colours of Autumn

It is officially fall! The trees said it was so.

 

Yeah, I don't go by the dates of the year; I go by the colours of the leaves.

So pretty!

Shit Chinese People Eat: Raw Burgers

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In continuation of this week's theme of epic fails, I present to you raw burger from the restaurant Spotted Pig in New York City:

 

I ordered my burger to be cooked medium and that patty was so raw that it should still have been walking.

Yes, I suppose a burger isn't really quite as strange and exotic as some of the previous things I've eaten; but add on the fact that it had blue cheese mayo and the ground beef had a mushy texture then it truly is shit. Not to mention that I paid over $20 for the thing.

Fuck!

Bathroom Design Fail

Sorry I'm a day late. Life has been busy with more shopping and playing Words with Friends. Do not worry, I won't get addicted to playing that game for it shall soon be replaced by World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria. What perfect timing since I just paid off my $1757.53 credit card bill for my trip to New York.

 

Speaking of New York, behold this epic fail in bathroom design at Lombardi's Pizza.

 

No, my legs did not fit in the gap between the toilet seat and the pipes.

I had to sit sideways to pee.

Buttons of Funny

A couple of the funniest buttons that I have ever seen.

 

If it didn't make you at least giggle, then you're not human.

Guess Where?

Isn't this pretty?

 

And this?

So the next few posts will be about my trip to New York because I have some epic win and fail stories to share. Also my life is too insanely busy at the moment for me to be creating original art.

(If you guessed Top of the Rock at the Rockerfeller Center, then you are correct!)

Shit Chinese People Eat: Cow's Lung

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where do I begin with cow's lung? I suppose the establishment from where I bought it is as good as any.

I was at the Aberdeen food court in Richmond and I wanted a bowl of noodles in soup with tripe. There was a Vietnamese stall but I didn't feel like Vietnamese food so I went to this place:

I didn't realize until now that the name of the place pretty much gives it away.

Which sold this:

And I got this:

 

At first I thought the miniature boat / floatation device (second from the top) was cow's heart

 

 

And the chunky bit imitating a part of the sea floor (third one from the top) was cow liver.

As it turns out, I was so totally wrong. Both of them are actually different parts of a cow's lung.

 

Like most other animal internal organs, cow's lung tastes like blood. The small boat one had a very strange texture to it. Overcooked, it falls apart in your mouth and not in a good way. The sea floor one had the added bonus of chewy veins; at least, I think they're veins. (Please don't tell me otherwise if they're not.)

 

While forcing myself to eat this so called food, I tasted something sandy. With every other bite, there was an undeniable crunch of sand. It may have been a spice, or a natural byproduct of from the small boat, or it may be because the organs weren't properly cleaned. I don't really know.

 

But what I do know is that I couldn't finish my dish. Even the noodles were inedible due to the sand.

 

Yeah, no. That's not food.

MoneY heARTs

I was right: Google did not post what I wanted to post. So here is what I did want to post on Monday, September 3, 2012. My thoughts and love go out to NYC today.

 

My project two weekends ago was to make 15 origami hearts from $20 Canadian bills. 

Money origami hearts <3

The level of difficulty goes from easy to hard from top to bottom. Sometimes you have to have strategy when it comes to origami otherwise your fingertips will hurt more like a mofo rather than a S.O.B. from having to make all the firm creases.

I'm proudest of this one because I didn't think I would be able to make it when I looked at the instructions, but in the end I showed that $20 who's boss.

Please see my deviantART for the rest of this series: http://acexpression.deviantart.com/

Broke

Hello! I'm back and broke from the near $3000 USD tab of my New York trip.

To top it all off, guess what I bought today after my vacation?

Please pardon my grubby fingerprints.

Yep, a Google Nexus 7 tablet.

Only $290 CDN. So worth it.

Hard Enough To Break Through Walls

So I saw these at a Japanese convenience store in downtown Vancouver:



The best type of hair gel are the ones that make you hard.

And my mind went places. Places that were shady, smutty, and sullied. Which then threw me into a giggling fit.

Good times :)

P.S. - I leave for vacation to NYC from August 31 to September 9. I have posts scheduled to go up while I am away but Blogger doesn't always post what I've scheduled. Just to let you in case you're thinking WTF?

What I Want In Life

I bet you've seen this circulating around Facebook:

I got love, money, and power.

Yup, sounds about right.

Shit Chinese People Eat: Pig Ear

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

There are some foods that simply do not register on the "weird scale" for me and I have to struggle to remember that not a lot of people would eat what I love to eat. One of those foods is pig ear. Oh em gee, it's only like the best part of the pig!

 

Pig's ear, seaweed, sliced beef. Would have been better with pork intestines at the end,
 but beggars can't be choosers.

Pig ear is made up of skin, some fat, and cartilage. What makes it so awesome is the crunchiness of the cartilage. It can be eaten hot or cold and seasoned any which way. I like it marinated and drizzled with some thick soy sauce and served with chopped green onions on top. It's a very traditional Taiwanese-style dish.

When eating pig ear, please be wary of stray unplucked hairs that usually come in small patches. I suppose eating the hair won't but it will certainly make you lose your appetite. Also, please be careful of elastic bands that look like sliced pig ear but really isn't. That happened to me once at a restaurant.

.

Final note: I love how pig ear is used as dog treats in some countries. (Wikipedia for the win)

My Life (Currently) In Words

So my mom is staying with my oldest brother and sister-in-law in Edmonton for fifty days, awaiting the arrival of my first nephew (yay baby!)

Meanwhile, in Vancouver I'm stuck with the double D's: douchebag (the other brother that I don't like) and dick wad (father), two of the biggeset boobies on the face of the Earth.

My mom has only been gone for five days and I'm already going bat-shit insane:  

The thought bubbles are what is eating up all of my time (ALL. OF. MY. TIME!)
and below are the words that I want to be consumed by.

I'm discovering that my mom has four kids instead of three, and she's married to one of them. Seriously, how is it that a middle-aged man is capable of assembling computers and yet not know how to use the phone!