Shit Chinese People Eat: Chicken Testicles

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

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Images are not mine
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I was originally not going to blog about chicken testicles since I was unable to find any in Taiwan. I am so disappointed that I'm going to call it the Great Chicken Testicle Shortage of 2013.

Seriously, where are all my balls at?

But this was too 'juicy' (literally) to not blog about, so I went and got these images off the internet:

Raw chicken testicles

And as you can see the average chicken testicle measures in at approximately an inch in length.

However, the bigger your cock, the bigger your balls (as seen above). The sexual reproduction system of a rooster is internal, so you have to cut it open in order to harvest its testicles.

Chicken testicles are definitely edible. It's tasteless on its own but tastes absolutely divine with garlic soy sauce and ginger. Be prepared for the instant burst of juice when you break the sac: you would expect the inside to harden once it's cooked, but the consistency is extremely watery. It's almost like having come in your mouth, in fact, that's probably where the term "busting a nut" came from.

Don't forget to swallow!

Grilled chicken testicles

You can cook them however you like, grilled (as shown above) or boiled. I wouldn't recommend skewering them, however, unless you want ball juice dribbling down your arm. They really are quite fragile.

I haven't had them for a while because they're filled with testosterone and a bunch of other hormones. I have to say, chicken testosterone does really funky things to my body, namely an increase in anger and aggressive behaviour, as well as a higher sex drive. The worse thing about them is that it thickens and blackens the hair all over my body.

Speaking of hair, there was a news story a few years back in Taiwan of a boy who every day had marinated chicken testicles as an after school snack. We're talking about a very young boy who at his age, would still be easily affected by what he eats. He had to start shaving when he turned 6.

So just as a health warning: don't eat too many chicken testicles because even though they are very much edible, they are still quite dangerous and can be harmful to the body.

My apologies for posting this a day late. What can I say? I got distracted by all the gay porn when I googled testicles. Now I'm going to have lunch. Have a nice day!