Hard Enough To Break Through Walls

So I saw these at a Japanese convenience store in downtown Vancouver:



The best type of hair gel are the ones that make you hard.

And my mind went places. Places that were shady, smutty, and sullied. Which then threw me into a giggling fit.

Good times :)

P.S. - I leave for vacation to NYC from August 31 to September 9. I have posts scheduled to go up while I am away but Blogger doesn't always post what I've scheduled. Just to let you in case you're thinking WTF?

What I Want In Life

I bet you've seen this circulating around Facebook:

I got love, money, and power.

Yup, sounds about right.

Shit Chinese People Eat: Pig Ear

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

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There are some foods that simply do not register on the "weird scale" for me and I have to struggle to remember that not a lot of people would eat what I love to eat. One of those foods is pig ear. Oh em gee, it's only like the best part of the pig!

 

Pig's ear, seaweed, sliced beef. Would have been better with pork intestines at the end,
 but beggars can't be choosers.

Pig ear is made up of skin, some fat, and cartilage. What makes it so awesome is the crunchiness of the cartilage. It can be eaten hot or cold and seasoned any which way. I like it marinated and drizzled with some thick soy sauce and served with chopped green onions on top. It's a very traditional Taiwanese-style dish.

When eating pig ear, please be wary of stray unplucked hairs that usually come in small patches. I suppose eating the hair won't but it will certainly make you lose your appetite. Also, please be careful of elastic bands that look like sliced pig ear but really isn't. That happened to me once at a restaurant.

.

Final note: I love how pig ear is used as dog treats in some countries. (Wikipedia for the win)

My Life (Currently) In Words

So my mom is staying with my oldest brother and sister-in-law in Edmonton for fifty days, awaiting the arrival of my first nephew (yay baby!)

Meanwhile, in Vancouver I'm stuck with the double D's: douchebag (the other brother that I don't like) and dick wad (father), two of the biggeset boobies on the face of the Earth.

My mom has only been gone for five days and I'm already going bat-shit insane:  

The thought bubbles are what is eating up all of my time (ALL. OF. MY. TIME!)
and below are the words that I want to be consumed by.

I'm discovering that my mom has four kids instead of three, and she's married to one of them. Seriously, how is it that a middle-aged man is capable of assembling computers and yet not know how to use the phone!

Shit Chinese People Eat: Pig's Blood

The only things we can't eat from the air, land, and sea

are planes, cars, and boats.

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Yes, pig's blood is edible and it's not as strange as you might think. A lot of countries have various types of animal blood as part of their diet like black pudding for example. Although these days animal blood as food would be considered "weird" because the standard of living is a lot higher than it was in the past.

Remember, peasants didn't have a lot of money back then and they couldn't afford to buy meat. So the next best thing would have been the internal organs. And blood. Mustn't forget about the blood, and curdled pig's blood looks something like this:

Pig blood tofu = YUMS!

The texture is like tofu but it's a lot easier to cook than tofu because I guess the blood holds everything together a lot better. I don't know, I'm not scientist. However, what I do know is that amazingly enough, it doesn't taste very strongly of blood! Not like chicken brain (oh dear Lord, never again).

When paired with pig intestines then OMG, best combination ever! Add in pig's ear and that threesome will make you have an orgasm in your mouth. Om nom nom, delicious!

A very traditional Taiwanese dish with pig blood tofu and pig intestines.



Greatness Is

So I've had this desktop image mock me for an entire week:

And I haven't got a clue on how to even begin to answer that blank.

What's your greatness?

Save The Hand Dryers!

So while I was drying my hands the other day, I wondered whatever happened to those old-school hand dryers. Not those fancy new ones like Xlerator or Dyson Airblade, but the ones where you have to press a button to get it to start.

Remember those?

Then of course my mind decided to save old-school hand dryers in the best way possible:

If only we could all press a button for instantaneous blowjobs . . . I think the world would be a better place.

Happy Pride 2012

Today's post is in lieu of Monday for the pride parade.

Lookie what I made:

This is the best occasion of the year because it features my favourite colour: RAINBOW!

. . . as well as celebration of collectiveness, societal progress and all that good stuff :D

(Disclaimer: Yoda and Star Wars belong to George Lucas and 20th Century Fox)

Mother Knows Best

To follow up on this jellyfish post I present to you my masterpiece:

I had too much fun drawing this.