Why I No Longer Chew Gum

I used to chew gum all the time. It has a great number of uses. For example:

Taking a test? Chew some gum, it'll help you concentrate.

Have stinky breath? Chew some gum, it'll mask the stink.

Don't have glue? Chew some gum, it'll stick just as well.

And then this happened:

Holy Jesus fuck on a stick.

Here's a closer look at the creepy crawlie:

The worm was still alive when I opened it.

Dear Excel: I fucking hate you! Traumatized for life.